I'm sitting here reading a friend's blog. Turns out she had a bad end to her weekend. See the odyssey here. I'm trying to convince myself that I am destroying this gallon of Rocky Road for her. Well, it makes me feel better anyway.
So, I have to tell you what I told my youngest today. Verbatim, "Dunc, there's three things you need to know about your daddy during the summer.
1. I love Lemonade.
2. I love Corn on the Cob.
3. I LOVE ROCKY ROAD ICE CREAM."
No, love just does not describe my lust for this chocolaty goodness. Oh, I should be the size of a whale I love RR so much. And let me tell you, and I shall, there are many types out there and most do not meet my expectations, so you've been warned.
You must first know this, Ice Cream is in my blood. I come from generations of ice cream lusting fanatics. I was brainwashed at an early age. Oh yes, some of you were exposed to smoking, porn, beer, rock and roll, or whatever at a young age, but let me tell you, I was indoctrinated into ice cream. So, you're not talking to your average run of the mill DQ sucker. You know the type, guy, loves his fake vanilla soft served crap. Ooooh, I could loose it just thinking of it. You're talking to the Mother of all Mothers when it comes to good old fashioned rock hard ice cream. In other words bub, I know my stuff.
So, let's talk Rocky Road. The standard is simple, Baskin Robins' 31 Flavors. Oh yes, they are the king of RR. I've tried the impostor "foofy make your own RR Creation" that offers you stale, teeth breaking marshmallows. (No names mentioned but Stone is in the name) Oh, there's no comparison, BR is the standard.
Why is BR the standard? The right amount of chocolate flavored ice cream, paired with real, yes real, marshmallows and fresh crunchy nuts, creates a mouth-gasm beyond compare. I've tried the kinds with the marshmallow sauce. There's no replacing REAL marshmallows. Only a soft serve mamma's boy could have thought that up. Oh the humanity. And if I might say, if you are lacking a 31 flavors in your "hood", then read on, there is hope.
Let it be said, there is only one, yes one, store bought ice cream that is hands down the equal to BR. Are you ready? It's not Blue Bunny, Breyers, Dreyers, Ben and Scary's, or even Great Value. (just kidding on that last one) It's PS, Private Selection. Oh, it's as if God reached His Hands out of the heavens and placed this goodness right on your grocer's shelf, just for you. Oh, please Lord let heaven be filled with Rocky Road. (and x-boxes)(jazz too)(okay and Mountain Dew)
I have no idea who makes it, I only know this, it's at King Soopers. (for you folks that don't know what those are look here maybe you can find it at one of these stores.) All I can tell you is that it HAS TO BE MADE BY THE GENIUSES AT BASKIN ROBINS. (it's really the geniuses at Kroger but for dramatic effect I am playing dumb... not hard to do.)
Yes, I believe that if the world would share 3 things, Rocky Road, Root Beer, and a Chocolate Honey Dipped Donut from Dunkin' Donuts, there would be world peace. It could work, please believe me. I'm telling you, I should be president, I could change the world with my formula.
So, put down that bland vanilla, that foofy B&J crap, or the impostor soft serve stuff and go out and give yourself over to Rocky Road. It will make me feel loads better to know that you are all out there eating your way into a Rocky Road Coma like me.
TTFN, T
2 comments:
you're so funny! i hardly ever eat ice cream because it has a canny way of attaching itself straight to my butt. however, i did have 1/2 of a strawberry malt today and it took away some of my irritation. sadly though, i think it's becoming more of a habit...this "mood". keep eating, maybe i'll feel better, lol!
Malts are only worth while if they are chocolate...or what ever flavor you like. :) So, I hope your moods are fixed easily without malts. You might try Rocky Road... Hope your week is going well. T
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